


Just Sixteen

by TheWaitingFangirl



Category: The Last of Us
Genre: Angst, Dad Mode Joel, Ellie is so fucking reckless istg, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Post-Canon, but the fact that she dunked acid over arm, i don't know anything about chemistry i'm dumb and bisexual, just to hide that she was immune to the virus??, that's balls-y
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-11-22 21:54:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20881268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWaitingFangirl/pseuds/TheWaitingFangirl
Summary: “Ellie?,” he called again, willing his mind to calm down, “it’s me, c’mon.” A stretch of silence. “Open the door, please, Ellie.” He tried the door handle again, twisting slowly and pushing to see if it’d move — and it did, slightly, and Joel realized she must’ve been sitting against it. “C’mon, kiddo,” he said softly, almost paternally. “Let me in.”She hiccupped then. “I don’t—,” her voice cut out as crying ensued and Joel felt his heart clench painfully at it. “I just wanted to—“Joel pushed the door again and it gave in. He peered inside, trying to find Ellie, before looking down to see her cornered and crying behind the door with an arm outstretched, a stained gauze dressing around it and a first-aid kit on her lap. When she saw him, she started crying harder, heavy tears rolling down her cheeks as she outstretched a hand to him, hiccupping hard enough for her shoulders to shake.





	Just Sixteen

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so we all know at this point that Ellie is dumb and brave enough to quite literally pour acid on her arm to hide the scar and proceed to get a tattoo, right?
> 
> Yeah so, I saw a small discussion about it on twitter and ended up getting carried away. Sorry folks.
> 
> Also, Dad Mode Joel rocks.

It was late, so late it had almost been early if Joel was willing enough to blurry the lines and paid close attention to the shifting pinks and oranges in the sky. The patrol had been cut short that week after running into a considerable group of clickers, about four miles away from Jackson. The order was to run back and regroup, gather supplies and move again to take care of the issue.

Joel was tired, he realized distantly. He didn’t particularly enjoy going outside, but it was a way to keep occupied and help Jackson, so he never complained — besides, it was nice to stretch his legs out there, especially with the days running shorter and nights longer as winter approached quickly.

After he crossed the gates, it was almost second nature by now. Dismount Desperado; put the horse away, then the saddle, bid goodnight to Eugene and the others, walk back home. There was no mystery about that and Joel found out he appreciated some kind of routine in his life after struggling to make it every single day. The walk back from the horses’ shed to his place was a short one, so he didn’t rush it; instead choosing to appreciate the coolness of the early morning before the sun remembered it was due to rise.

He sighed, shoving his hands into the pockets of his winter jacket, the rifle dangling from his shoulder and swaying slightly as he walked. He’d have to talk to Ellie at some point. When Joel left for patrol a good four days ago, she seemed distressed about the scar on her arm. Apparently, one of her friends had asked why she’d only wear long sleeved shirts, even during summer, and she couldn’t seem to find a good excuse, considering the fact that virtually no one knew she was immune. He had done his best to comfort her before having to leave for patrol, but he was conscious they’d have to talk more about it before finding a solution. He had picked a couple more comic books for her and only hoped they’d be able to cheer her up, even if a little.

With a somewhat anguished heart, Joel thought about telling the patrol crew he’d be out of the next incursion that day. There was a lot capable people in Jackson, he knew they’d be fine; besides, he’d explain to Tommy later. It was a good reason, he reminded himself not to feel like he was slacking off somehow. He couldn’t just come here, dump Ellie in Jackson and spend so much time outside, especially when she was too young to tag along — or so Joel had deemed, despite _everything_ else, to Ellie’s distress.

She’d talk his ear off about joining today, surely, and that made him smile a little. Maybe… he could borrow a horse of her own, tell her to stick close. Going outside might do her some good. They could talk about the scar later, once they were back, see if Maria could help somehow.

He stomped his feet on the wooden stairs to shake off the muck from his boots before stepping into the small porch. The sky had gradually shifted to a soft golden color and Joel stopped to appreciate it. It had been a long time before he’d stopped to look up at the sky like he’d been doing eve since they had settled in Jackson. Maybe taking Ellie out would be the best thing to do, help her feel normal again. Sighing, Joel turned around and walked in quietly, shutting the door behind him and setting the rifle down beside the entrance door.

The living room was bathed in an almost ethereal golden glow as he shrugged off the winter coat, kicking off his boots by at the entrance and moving to set the heavy jacket on top of the couch as he started making his way upstairs. He needed to take a shower and change before anything else, then he’d check on Ellie and see if she wanted to have breakfast; tell her about going outside today, maybe take a little nap until it was time to leave again. He passed by her bedroom door, firmly shut, slowing down a little not to make too much noise and wake her up; entered his own bedroom to gather his stuff before moving to the bathroom at the end of the corridor.

There was a strangled noise and Joel stopped on his tracks. He blinked once, frowning as he strained to pay closer attention to it and surely enough, there it was again, this time louder — and by God, it sounded like Ellie.

“Ellie?,” he called loudly, rushing to her bedroom door and openingit with little ceremony. Her bed was empty, but he still walked in nonetheless. His heartbeat picked up and he felt something not too different from panic rising up at the back of his throat, moving to touch at her bed only to realize it was just as cold as his hands. “Fuck,” Joel cursed, turning to leave and making a beeline towards the bathroom. “Ellie, are you in there?”

The door budged, but didn’t open. He frowned, knocking at it and getting an answering sniffle — Ellie’s sniffle, he realized.

“Ellie?,” he called again, willing his mind to calm down, “it’s me, Ellie.” A stretch of silence. “Open the door, please.” He tried the door handle again, twisting slowly and pushing to see if it’d move — and it did, slightly, and Joel realized she must’ve been sitting against it. “C’mon, kiddo,” he said softly, almost paternally. “Let me in.”

She hiccupped then. “I don’t—,” her voice cut out as crying ensued and Joel felt his heart clench painfully at it. “I just wanted to—“

Joel pushed the door again and it gave in. He peered inside, trying to find Ellie, before looking down to see her cornered and crying behind the door with an arm outstretched, a stained gauze dressing around it and a first-aid kit on her lap. When she saw him, she started crying harder, heavy tears rolling down her cheeks as she outstretched a hand to him, hiccupping hard enough for her shoulders to shake.

“Oh, baby girl,” Joel choked out, immediately kneeling in front of the her, her hand immediately grasping at his shirt as soon as he got within reach, “look at me, baby girl— Ellie, look here,” he cupped her face, eye flicking from her puffy eyes to the red stained gauze on top of her forearm — right where her scar was. Joel’s mind raced with unanswered questions, but right now, he had to focus on Ellie. “Look at me, baby, c’mon—“

She breathed out a pained gasp, looking up at him, and Christ; her face was completely red. How long had she been crying? “Joel—,” she wailed lowly, jutting her arm in front of him like it was enough of an answer. “It won’t fucking stop, it’s— it’s fucking _burning_, I don’t—“

He took her arm in his own shaky hands, peering at it to access the damage, but the gauze covered most of it. Was the infection spreading? He’d never heard of burning when it came to the Cordyceps infection. What if it had mutated? His stomach dropped. She cried harder when he held her arm and at that moment he’d have done anything to take the pain away from her.

“It’s okay,” he lied to himself, touching the tip of the gauze, to which Ellie cried out, “it’s okay baby, I need to look, okay? Let me see.”

“Make it stop!,” she whined at him, throwing a punch into his shoulder in despair, “_please_—“

Joel peeled the ruined dressing from her skin, trying not to listen to Ellie’s ear piercing scream and the way she shook under him. The skin had broke, here and there, where the marks of her scar were deeper and never quite healed, no matter how much time passed; but the rest of it was of a sickening reddish color, as if she had burned herself. Joel swallowed dry, leaning in to have a better look and his fingertips hovered over it. “Ellie—“

“_Don’t fucking touch it_,” she screamed, kicking her bare feet frantically at the bathroom floor, “it fucking _burns_, Joel—“

“It’s alright,” he pulled away a little, taking a hold of her good hand where it was against his shoulder and curling his palm gently over it, “look at me, baby, please— Ellie, here, look at me,” his voice wavered slightly and he looked around quickly, noticing the little glass bottle resting a couple feet away from them.

There was the remains or a clear looking liquid inside and he recognized the label, even though it was almost rubbed out, as one of the acid bottles the patrolling crew had found in one of the abandoned schools at Jacksonville after they had managed to clean it out of infected. Eugene had suggested taking it for chemistry classes and he had agreed. Hydro-something, was the most Joel had managed to read before Ellie’s pained groan caught his attention again.

“I just wanted to—,” she gasped for breath, her whole face contorted in pain, “I wanted to—“

Christ, he realized.

“Ellie,” he spoke firmly now, her teary green eyes fixing on him and his whole mind _screamed_. Joel squeezed her fist into his hand and she whimpered, making him vaguely remember of Sarah. “I know it hurts baby, I know— look at me, yeah?“

“I’m sorry—,” she tried saying, throwing her head back in a fit, “I didn’t—“

“It’s okay baby girl, it’s okay,” he panicked a little. How long had she been in there? He shifted on his knees, moving to pick her up, “come here with me, c’mon,” his voice came out perhaps way softer than he had intended at first, unable to keep the subtle waver of emotion out of it. “It’s okay, it’s okay.”

Joel hauled her gently, Ellie’s good arm wrapping around his neck as he stood up and carried the girl to the other side of the bathroom where the shower was. He quickly set her down beside the blindex, willing her to let go of him. “I’ll just run the water, Ellie, don’t worry, I’m here.”

He quickly switched the tap, the cold water falling steadily from the shower as she looked expectantly at him.

“C’mon,” he kneeled beside her once more, hugging her against the side of his body in a protective manner. Joel’s heart hammered inside his chest, he knew he shouldn’t have gone on patrol. Ellie was still crying when he reached behind her back to hold on her wrist, gently, and willed her stick her arm under the shower. She followed his lead, whimpering weakly and turning her face away from it as the cool water came in contact with her skin. “It’s alright, baby girl, it’s alright…”

Her body shivered against his as she still cried softly, seeming to calm down after a couple minutes. Joel let out a strained breath, keeping close watch of her arm as he rinsed the worst of the acid away. He waited, then, keeping close watch of Ellie as the water ran down and, at some point, she closed her eyes and slumped slightly against him with a pouty look on her face. He shifted his gaze, turning to look at the top of Ellie’s head.

She had stopped crying now, eyes fixated on her glowing red skin like she’d rather avoid him for the time being. Joel’s lips drawled back in an unpleasant manner, mind still racing. It’d leave a mark, definitely — or maybe would erase it? He wasn’t really sure, only time would be able to tell, but so far her skin looked far too red to be just a mild abrasion, but not worse than a nasty first degree burn.

“Better?,” he asked quietly, rubbing a slow affectionate circle on her shoulder and Ellie nodded. Joel sighed, closing his eyes and letting part of his worries wash away to the sound of the running water. “What were you thinking, kiddo?”

Ellie shook her head, shrugging slightly — he more felt than saw it. “I’m sorry…”

“It’s okay,” he said gently, not really looking down, because he wasn’t sure if he could face her yet. “I’m not mad, Ellie,” Joel sighed, leaning down to press a light kiss at the top of her head, “just worried.”

“It just wouldn’t stop burning,” Ellie croaked tiredly, pulling her arm from under the running water with a hiss, “I didn’t know what to do.”

“You have to rinse it with running water, for a while,” Joel said softly, gazing at the burnt area. It was definitely a first-degree burn. “Otherwise it’ll just get worse.”

She nodded. He didn’t have to ask why she’d done such a thing, he knew the answer — and felt impossibly guilty for having left when he did, knowing he should’ve stayed with her. Joel sighed again. “Still burning?”

Ellie shook her head slowly, bringing her arm closer to her body to examine it, hand hovering, but too afraid to touch. “It’s better now.”

“Good,” he tried to smile, fixing her hair in a fatherly manner. The water was still running and Joel knew he’d have to turn it off eventually, but he didn’t want let go of Ellie just yet. She felt so small there, leaning against the side of his body, as if he could protect her from everything if he tried hard enough.

“I’m sorry,” Ellie said again, a lot more quieter, “that was a stupid idea, wasn’t it?”

Joel huffed out a breath, moving his hand down to rest on her shoulder to rub an affectionate circle there. “It’s okay, I’m just glad it’s not that bad. Could’ve gone a lot worse.” She nodded numbly, eyes still puffy from all the crying. “Let’s patch you up, yeah? I’ll run to the infirmary and see if I can get you something for the pain later.”

She was just sixteen, he had to remind himself. Just sixteen.

“I didn’t think you’d be back until tomorrow night,” she muttered, almost as if ignoring what he’d said earlier.

Joel nodded silently. “It’s okay, kiddo, just had to come back earlier,” he turned to pick the first-aid kit from where it had been abandoned near the sink and stood up to turn off the shower and look into the cabinet for a clean towel, “let’s just patch you up now.”

Ellie got up slowly, arm outstretched stiffly as she sat down on the toilet with a groan. “Okay,” she shifted awkwardly, not really wanting to look at him. “… thanks, Joel.”

He nodded again, offering her a half-smile. His heart ached dully then, but he'd soldier on. “Any time, kiddo.”

**Author's Note:**

> I got into some pretty heated arguments with my friends on the matter if you should run water over the area of a chemical burn or not, because some said you should put vinegar on it, others said water was okay, the internet says water is okay, but chem friends says it's not and I just went fuck it. 
> 
> Call it creative liberty, okay? I was never good at chemistry anyways. I'm bisexual, wtf did you expect???? I can't be good at writing AND chemistry.
> 
> As always, please leave a comment! Feed the beast!!!!


End file.
